u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
