omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Two words: nipple clamps
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