i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
