she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
