I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
