OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
