Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
