She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
