You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i need an iv and a liver transplant
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
