I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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