ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
