Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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