but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Four minutes until I can fart!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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