about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
