you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
