I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
are you so shy because you have an std?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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