the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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