i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Duck Duck Cougar?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize