The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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