YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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