you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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