Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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