Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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