the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He is an equal opportunity slut.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
