you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize