i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Let's get the cat blown out
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
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