I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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