3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
