I only kidnapped one of them. chill
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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