I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
