Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
