Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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