i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
