I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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