bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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