Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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