You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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