You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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