Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
