I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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