I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
