Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
