The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
