Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
