Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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