ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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