Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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