There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
