What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
