i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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