walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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