If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
