Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
