Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
it's like heaven, but drunker
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
