put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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