Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
