bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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