epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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