I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
