The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
