if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
too bad you live with your parents still
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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